Never Ever Surrender Part 1

It all began the semester we graduated from BYU-Idaho. This was in July of 2008. Well I technically was not officially graduated because I had to finish my internship. I had been trying for the past two semesters to do my internship and just could not find anyone to take me on. We decided to move to South Dakota so that I could do an internship and begin my Masters in Professional Accountancy. My sister lived there and she was going to help out with watching Keilee while I went to school, did my internship, and Tom was going to work as well. Before we moved there we thought this was the perfect time for Tom to get a really good job while I went through my masters. This would give us an opportunity to make some money and save what we could. We kept trying and after a month we still did not have a job. Tom finally was able to get in with the Walmart pharmacy. I was able to do my internship with a company that my brother-in-law was working for. Thank heavens for such a thing. I was beginning to think I was not going to be able to finish my internship.

Through that whole time Tom was only making $9 (full-time) and I was making $10 (part-time). Our rent was $400, our utilities came out to be $300-$400 because the house had problems keeping the cold in or out depending on the season. Before we were even able to move into the house we had to kilz the entire place because it stunk so bad of smoke that I killed over a couple times…haha…no but close! On top of that we had to shampoo the carpets once a week to keep the smoke smell from becoming apparent. To make things worse, we felt like someone was watching the house. Seriously, I had the creepiest feeling ever like if I opened up the front door someone would be standing there gazing straight though me feeling. I don’t know what it was, but it was creepy hands down. That feeling could probably explain the basement a little. When we went down there, there were TONS of candles all around the room and a random chair in the middle. Can you say eerie? Oh and another thing I almost forgot, when we got into the house our landlord said that the trash had been paid up till the end of December so we were like okay that is awesome. The next thing I knew we were receiving a trash bill. Funny thing is, it was addressed to me. If our landlord would of set this up he would of given them Tom’s name because he always asked for Tom and never wanted to talk to me…haha! So here is my conclusion. These people went through our mail to determine who to bill the trash to. Funny thing is they came around at weird times, sometimes at night to “pick up trash.” So either we found our creepy stalkers or they were totally legit.
To Be Continued…

Life's Short: Enjoy the Little Things Part 2

Days and nights meshed together and I just dwelled on how I thought Lindy was feeling then thought about my brother, then on to the kids; round and round I went. How were they going to get through this? It broke my heart cause honestly I don’t think I could get through if my husband died, yes I am a big wimp when it comes to that. As I watched my brother through this whole experience, he gave me strength. He handled it way better than I ever would. His strength taught me that even through trails we can remember the little things that can get us through anything. He talked about Lindy and things he remembered. To you and me they seem simple, but to him it is all he has now. If you live in the moment and enjoy every moment you will never miss out.

Most recently I have been working full time since my husband lost his job and the things I miss the most are the simple things like kids breaking into the fridge and making a castle out of the food, finding the kids covered in marker, finding dryer sheets scattered around the house or even baby wipes for that matter, and most of all I miss teaching my children different things, playing games, cooking dinner for my family. These may seem so simple or not your idea of great moments, but to me they are moments I miss. I am sure that these same sentiments are true as you pass on. If Lindy could talk to us today, what would she tell us? Would she say she misses working, her house, her car, or even shopping? Probably not, she would say something simple that to her meant everything…a kiss, a hug, a smile! So I say to you enjoy the small things in life. Drive safe this Holiday Season, buckle up, and remember to live in the moment!

Life’s Short: Enjoy the Little Things Part 1

I was in the middle of my stats class on Wednesday, May 19th 2010 when I received a phone call some time after 5:30 pm. I checked to see who it was and saw that it was my mother. I thought to myself that whatever she had to talk to me about it could wait until I was out of class. The thing is my class started at 5:30 pm and class didn’t end until 9:30 pm so I didn’t want to leave at the beginning of class to take a phone call. (Tom was actually in class while I was at home watching our kids. We had the webcam set up so that I could be “in class” as well in a way.) Anyways about the phone call, I just put my phone to the side and ignored the phone call. To my surprise I received three more phone calls from my mother and then one from my little brother and then one from my little sister. I was thinking, "What the heck everyone wants to talk to me today." Then I thought that maybe everyone was calling to wish Keilee a belated birthday since her birthday was the day prior, so I didn’t think anything of it. I messaged my husband and he told me that I should probably take it cause it could be serious. So I called my mother back and asked what it was that she needed to talk to me about. These next few words were going to shatter my world. I was not prepared for what I was about to find out.

“Christi, Lindy is dead.” I was stunned, honestly I wasn’t sure what my mother said at first and then it hit me. I said, “No…, you have got to be kidding me.” I began to cry while my mother then proceeded to say, “Lindy died in a car wreck on her way up to Boise. She rolled the car and she didn’t have her seat belt on. All three kids are fine, but are really scared and keep asking for their mom.” Things started to trail off and I am not sure what else my mother said, but all I remember thinking is “My poor brother, what is he going to do.”

I have never had to deal with death before especially with someone I knew before. Lindy was my brother Kyler’s wife. They had three children ages 4, 3, and 8 months old. She was 24 years old, one year older than me. I struggled for the longest time to keep my emotions under control, but I just couldn’t keep from crying. I kept thinking how Lindy must be feeling. As a mother, I dread that I will not be able to take care of my children. Was Lindy struggling with not being able to grab her kids in her arms and comfort them?

To be continued…

Life Never Goes As Planned, Trust Me Part 6

Push came to shove and well… I couldn't do it. I don't exactly remember what happened, but after two days I was fine. If I pulled my journal out I am sure I would be able to tell you what exactly what made me stay, but I am not sure where that journal is to tell you the truth. So I guess I was head over heels for this boy. I blame it on the "kiss" and all the awesome surprises, but I am sure there was more to it. I was in love and I knew that this boy was THE ONE. This all happened in September; December rolled around and I was engaged. Best month ever...well March is technically, but who cares, I was getting married! 

Alright, time to wrap this up! You may be wondering, why did I need to know ALL this? I just wasted my time reading your love story. How is this going to help me? Have you ever thought that you knew what you needed to do and nothing was going to stop you from doing it? I am here to tell you, "Snap out of it!" It is good to have goals and ambitions in life, but don't get complacent in "your plan." You need to have a little variety sometimes. It makes you grateful for who you are becoming. I am not saying that you will recognize the benefits at the time, but know that a change in your plan can bring forth the best things that could ever happen to you. What if I broke it off with Tom when I started having "cold feet?" Would I have my bachelor's degree, would I have my two wonderful children, would I have the same trials in life, would I have my master’s degree? It's possible, but then again no one knows. It scares me to think where I would be if I just couldn't let go of "my plan." Would I be in a healthy, loving, unbreakable marriage as I am today? Who knows?!? I am not saying that you need to always take the path that leads you away from your plan. What I am saying is, be open minded and spontaneous. Sometimes your life just needs a little push in some sort of direction that will help you reach your finally destination, wherever that may be. It may not be a straight path, but when has there ever been a long, straight path to follow? Set your goals, but be open to curves or determents and really look for what the benefits could be. Sometimes… you just need to follow your heart and put your pesky brain down for a nap.

Life Never Goes As Planned, Trust Me Part 5

So anyways, back to the Lost Boy. He was doing everything right, to a T!! Drama here, drama there, tears here, joy there! He always had me guessing what he was going to do next. Some nights I wouldn’t see him or even talk to him because he chose not to. He played the game well. I never felt like I knew what he was thinking or feeling. Plus to top it off, I received a rose EVERY Friday with a card!  We had a great three weeks. It was a blast and I felt special!!

One night we went out with some friends to Rexburg's bowling alley. We played a couple games and decided to go and eat at Wendy's. Tonight was the night that turned my world upside down. You guessed it, COLD FEET. The whole time I was sitting there eating dinner I was freaking out and having a panic attack. My vow, my plan, I need to get back on track. I couldn't stay with the Lost Boy, things were headed down a road I was not ready for. "My plan" did not include a boyfriend. So there I was talking myself out of this amazing relationship I had with this boy. That night I started thinking about how I was going to break it off with the most amazing boy I had ever met.  

To Be Continued…

Life Never Goes As Planned, Trust Me Part 4

We set a night to work on our project and one of the Lost Boy's buddies asked me if I wanted a ride. Sure, why not? We worked on our project for awhile. It was getting late so we decided to put the rest of the project off for another night. We all started packing up when the Lost Boy asked if I would like to get a ride home. Sure, I hate walking in the dark by myself. So on the way to my apartment we had a conversation that I will never forget. Oh how I wish I could. It was the most embarrassing experience ever. The Lost Boy said something to the effect that "I am sure you don't have any problems with getting the boys." I can’t remember what was all said, but the one thing I do remember saying somewhere in that conversation was just blurting out, "Umm...yeah I have never kissed a boy." Silence, redness engulfed my face and an imaginary fist was hitting me in the head saying, “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Yeah, to this day I have no idea what happened. That is something I never told any guy or to a stranger none the less? Let’s just say me saying that to the Lost Boy started "Operation: Win Christi Over." So much for my vow!?!

So let me explain my no kissing deal. I promise I am not a total weirdo. There is a good explanation. My dad made a deal with the kids in my family that if we waited until we were 16 to kiss then he would give us $100. Yes, back then we thought it was a ton of money. Well, probably only me since I was the only one who made it in my family! I think I was anyways, I don’t remember anyone else getting the $100, but I can be mistaken. Okay so I totally thought it was worth it. I set my heart on that $100 and would not be deterred from my goal. Yes, I rejected many opportunities, but it was worth it in my opinion. So yeah I got to my 16th birthday with no kissing. On my 16th birthday my dad said, "If you can go until your 18 I will give you another $100.” So again, my goal was to take him on. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could do it. So there you are, not totally weird, right?!?! Hahaha...think what you may, I understand! All I know is that it was totally worth it in the end when the day came to break my no kissing streak. Hilarious story!

To Be Continued…

Life Never Goes As Planned, Trust Me Part 3

Okay so here I was searching for my classroom not noticing anyone around me, when this boy turns around and says, "Umm...are you lost?" I looked at him and scoffed, "Ha, no?!?!" All right, maybe a little, but I didn't want him to know that. I pretended it was nothing and I kept walking and searching. (Let’s give this boy a nickname really quickly so I don't have to keep explaining what guy I am talking about. Let’s call him the Lost Boy.) Now I get to the top floor and notice that these classrooms start with fours so I knew I was on the right floor. The whole time the Lost Boy was still in front of me walking to his class I assumed. I finally saw my classroom when "CRAP" the Lost Boy goes into the same room. You have got to be kidding me, right? Now I just feel stupid, not going to be the last either! I walked in and quickly found a seat. I was ready and eager to learn. This whole college thing was so exciting for me. A new start to life I thought, boy, was it ever! 

The Lost Boy stopped to talk to a buddy of his, after that he came and sat next to me and tried to start a conversation. I was polite by answering his question, but I quickly turned away ready to begin class. I thought I gave the Lost Boy the cold shoulder; It was only the second day of college, no way was my plan to be broken already. I guess I didn't do a very good job because a few weeks later the Lost Boy and his buddies invited me to be in their group for a project due in class. I said okay and thus began the beginning of the end of  "my plan" as I knew it.   

To Be Continued…